Stormy Weather  

 An Open Letter

If you are reading this we probably have something in common – cancer.

I think the above picture representing stormy weather is appropriate because it is sort of the place we find ourselves when we are dealing with cancer or some other storm. 

I am a cancer patient.  The hospitals and oncologist offices are filled with us.  The obituaries list “after a valiant fight with cancer”.  It seems that almost everyone knows somebody with cancer.  I think we need to be taught about survival techniques.  I have some ideas to share although I don’t know a lot about the disease.  Sometimes, though, I think I know something about surviving it.  Then, on the other hand, perhaps, I’m just lucky.

I had colon cancer with metastasis to both lobes of the liver.  The operating surgeon told me that statistically I had six months to two years to live; he told the family I had four to six months, closer to four.  The oncologist told me that I was going to die; I was not a candidate for surgery; I was not a candidate for transplant; they could keep me alive for a short while with chemotherapy but I was still going to die.  A second opinion gave me only four months to live.  Those predications were made between December, 1996 and February, 1997.  Later, one of the family was told, "Perhaps, three weeks".

Much has happened between then and now.

I believe in surgery, pharmaceuticals and developing our own strategies for survival.

I suggest that we don’t necessarily have to be a statistic because some of that is up to us.  I believe the medical folks treat us for the disease but they don’t teach us how to survive.  We must learn some of that for ourselves.

I still visit the oncologist.  I still have scans.  I am still a cancer patient.

I hope this website will give the visitors hope and ideas.  I believe we do have a right to live.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Bob Vandegrift

Copied from the Internet:

Colorectal Cancer Network

Building Hope

“If you only read one book, if you only read one persons story, make it Bob Vandergrift’s “My Home Is In The House Of Cancer” and “Cancer Strategies” www.cancerstrategies.info

Especially if you are diagnosed at a late stage, ask for a phone partner – talk to them at least once.  It is amazing how much falls into perspective when you are talking with someone who survived very closely your own situation.  Then when you are successfully through treatment turn back and become a phone partner for those coming down the colon cancer path after you.

Plant a flower that won’t come up until two seasons from now.  The act of doing that plants the subconscious belief in your mind that you will be here to see it come up.”

Comments

I have received many comments from those who have read some of my thoughts.  The following are just a few:

Sheryl L. Allen, Utah State Representative

Thank you for sharing your book with me.  I wish it had been in print when my father was ill.  It contains a lot of helpful information, but the overriding message is attitude, attitude, attitude combined with a large dose of courage.  It’s proof that sometimes the best man does win.  So keep winning.  And keep sharing your book with others.

Richard A. Bloch, Bloch Cancer Institute, Kansas City , Missouri

Thank you for your manuscript, My Home is in The House of Cancer.  I took it home last night and went over it and believe it can be most helpful to cancer patients.  I particularly liked your first page, The Magic Word.  I am placing your book in our library so cancer patients may have reference to it.

Saundra S. Buys, M.D., Hematology and Medical Oncology, University of Utah Medical Center

It’s very powerful and will be an asset for many people.  Thanks for letting me be a part of this miracle.

John Conlee, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., University of Utah Medical Center

When I first met Bob, he had been diagnosed with colon and liver cancer and was given a short time to live.  This grim prognosis only seemed to fuel Bob’s spirit and inspire unshakable determination and commitment to beat the odds.  I was just starting to use imagery with cancer patients when Bob devised a novel approach to visualization.  Our collaboration comprised only one aspect of Bob’s compelling journey.  His book provides a down-to-earth account of how one man did beat the odds.

Jan Freeman, MD, FACS, Lakeview Hospital , Bountiful , Utah

Hope you are still doing well -- it was great to read your story. I’m always happy to be wrong in these cases -- wish I could be wrong more often.

Dr. James S. Gordon, President, Center for Mind-Body Medicine

I really appreciate the courage, common sense, and beauty of the work that you’ve been doing and the generosity with which you share it.

Kathleen A. Herlihy, Ph.D., Psychotherapist, Edgartown , Massachusetts

Your book, “My Home Is In The House Of Cancer” is heartwarming!  The honesty with which you looked at your diagnosis and the surety with which the doctors confirmed the fact that you had but a few months to live truly touched one.  In fact, throughout the book, you not only manifested your Will to live despite the prognosis, but a determined effort to pursue every avenue that might lead to healing!

Furthermore, by sharing your journey so honestly as you have in this book, you are bestowing a special gift of hope and perseverance to all those folks who may be confronted with a major health challenge!

Your inclusion of the poem “The Race” at the end could inspire each one of us to face life’s challenge.

Ellen Hernandez, Seattle , Washington

I have leafed through “My Home Is In The House Of Cancer”, and now started to read it.  At a glance, it appears that you have distilled every self-help book I ever read into one short, concise, and plain-spoken missive.  I think your approach could be used on any problem.

Marcella L. Keck, Attorney and Cancer Patient, Salt Lake City , Utah

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your book.  I have been reading many things, including Bernie Siegel’s “Love, Medicine, and Miracles” and Rachel Remen’s “Kitchen Table Wisdom”.  I had begun my spiritual journey some time ago, but felt that I wanted to go the next step further.  So much in your book was affirming to me -- seeing in print conclusions I had reached and feelings I had.  I read it over the holidays.  It was a perfect gift for me.

Earlier this fall, a friend who is a recovering alcoholic told me that I would be bombarded with advice about healing as she had been bombarded with advice about sobriety.  She, too, gave advice: Take what feels right and leave what doesn’t.  Your book does the same thing.  It affirms each person’s choice of path, but stresses the importance of a path.  It seems to me that your diagnosis encouraged you to rally to life.

Benjamin Kim, M.D., FACS, Utah Cancer Institute, LLC, Salt Lake City , Utah

Just finished reading your working copy -- it’s both provocative and inspiring.  You are not alone -- maybe talking to some other patients will broaden and confirm your hunches.

Dr. Lauren A. Langford, M.D., Associate Professor, Neuro-pathology , MD Anderson Cancer Center, Houston , Texas

I had to read your book twice!  The first time I read it quickly because I was so impatient to see what you had to say next … The second time I knew what was around the corner and took my time to chew each and every word.  Your book is one for all people, with or without cancer.  Most everybody will have a chronic disease and we all need your approach.  No, your approach is not unique, but you are one of the few who has the fortitude to verbalize and demand what you want from the medical establishment.  You have the backbone and determination to persevere.  (In some ways my husband is like you.  He questions and expects the medical team to work with him).  And if a person has just been told they have six months to live, then it is even a more fierce struggle to build a team.  I like that word “POSITIVISTS”!  Never will I forget it.

Tomorrow I will deliver one copy of your book to the Volunteer Office at the hospital and tell them what I think.  The other copy is reserved for my family.

Margie Levine may have been the longest survivor of pleural mesothelioma in the world.  She wrote “Surviving Cancer, One Woman’s Story and her Inspiring Program for Anyone Facing a Cancer Diagnosis.”  She had developed 41 steps towards healing.  Though she was told she had only months to live after she was diagnosed with the cancer she lived another 14 years.  Margie died March 6, 2004.   She remains an inspiration to many.

So much of what you did and how you feel remind me of what I did.  We have so much in common.  There is a part of healing that definitely comes from believing in your own wishes and strengths.  It is going with your inner voice.

Rob McKown, Penrose , North Carolina

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your book with me.  I finished reading it last night.  It was inspiring, honest, and to the point.  I was especially impressed by your lack of hyperbole or exaggeration.  It was truly honest.

Susan Schulman, Project Coordinator, Huntsman Cancer Institute, Salt Lake City , Utah

I formally noted the existence of the Vandegrift hypothesis yesterday.

Dr. Harold D. Schutte, Weaverville , NC

Thank you very much for your kind thoughtfulness & generosity in sending my wife Margie and me a copy of your book on your bout with cancer.  We both read it and were extremely impressed with your motivation to survive.  Margie was very encouraged by it since she is recovering from “ovarian cancer”.  She has taken a similar approach to you in taking charge of her health.  As a physician, I really have trouble with health professionals who set limits on how long some one is going to survive.  You have done a great service to your fellow man by relating your experience through the book release.

Bernie S. Siegel, M. D., Author of “How to Live Between Office Visits” and “Peace, Love & Healing”.

It’s too bad we have to learn the hard way -- but you surely have and are filled with wisdom.  You are the talented athlete -- who with coaching does get up and win the race.  I am less concerned about the accuracy of your words than the truth of your message.

American Cancer Society

Cancer and Careers

Choose To Live
Submitted by Robert Vandegrift
Diagnosis: Colon Cancer
Age Range : 70+
Stage: Stage IV
Relation to Patient: Patient

The wisest advice that I have ever been given was by Dr. Benjamin Kim. He said, “some of whether or not you survive is up to you”. Three or four months earlier, on December 16, 1996, I entered the hospital and four days later, I was operated on for colon cancer. I didn’t fully comprehend it until early in the morning on January 1, 1997 . It was then when the surgeon told me I had colon cancer and it had metastasized to the liver. I asked him how much time I had and he said, “Statistically, six months to two years”. The idea of six months to two years was a lousy blow. I remember panic. I was sixty-eight years old and not ready to make a one-way trip to the hereafter. The surgeon wanted me to see an oncologist. I remember our visit very well. I can quote it verbatim. I only repeat it because many others with cancer hear the same thing. She said, “You have colon cancer and there is metastases to your liver. You are going to die. You are not a candidate for surgery and you are not a candidate for transplant. We can keep you alive for a short while with chemotherapy but you are still going to die!” I went for a second opinion and the doctor told me to get my affairs in order because I had only four months to live. It all looked very bleak. I would later learn that my family was told that I could be gone within three weeks. I searched for a doctor who would do something and I found Dr. Kim who would perform cryosurgery. The tumors were substantial in both lobes of the liver. Cryosurgery was not possible once they began but he resected some of the tumors. At this point, Dr. Kim said he would be sending an oncologist to see me. Dr. Saundra Buys came and asked me to take part in a clinical study. I told her I would let her know as soon as I made a decision. Three weeks later, I agreed to participate in it. I began the trial (Xeloda) in April, 1997 and remained on the protocol until April, 2002 for a total of five years. The Xeloda was certainly more convenient than 5FU with fewer side effects. I was doing well. Dr. Buys said she had not had anyone make as much progress in her career. However, I did not rely only on Xeloda. I believed in surgery, pharmaceuticals and developing a strategy to augment the medical protocol. Some of whether or not I survived was up to me. I wanted programs that would insure that I could get upbeat very quickly if I became depressed. Norman Vincent Peale was a great advocate for visualization. I obtained copies of my scans, transferred them to my computer and then erased the tumors several times each day. I affirmed to myself that the tumors were getting smaller. With the help of John Conlee, the medical social worker, we traced the slices of each scan every time. I assigned a value to each tumor that proved to myself and my medical team that I was making progress that gave a tremendous boost to attitude. I also developed flash cards for my liver. I set short and long term goals. For instance, I went to the bank and borrowed $50,000 and didn’t tell them I had just been given four months to live. We remodeled our home. I needed a Cadillac dream and not a compact dream. I bought a used Cadillac. Not all strategies cost money. I looked for someone each week and told them they had been significant in my life. I didn’t pray for myself but I prayed for others because I knew others were praying for me and I believe this has proved to be a healthy thing because it forced me to think about others rather than myself. Writing became part of my therapy and I wrote a small book called “My Home Is In The House Of Cancer”. I have spoken in churches, assisted living centers and a cancer center. I speak about strategies with anyone with cancer whenever I have an opportunity and this continues to be one of my major strategies. This has been the most important six years of my life and I want to make a difference wherever possible. --Robert Vandegrift search@xmission.com or www.cancerstrategies.info

Davis County Clipper

Local cancer survivor shares outlook

BY MELINDA WILLIAMS

Clipper Staff Writer

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

BOUNTIFUL —In 1997, Robert L. Vandegrift was given six months to two years to live. Six years later, not only is he alive, but a healthy advocate for cancer patients.

After being treated off and on for years for diverticular disease, he was admitted to the hospital in December, 1996. A mass, the size of a baseball was found in his colon. It had metastasized to the liver. The result of the operation was a colostomy.

Today, the 74-year old has written a book “My Home Is In the House of Cancer.” He shares what he has learned through his own Web site, www.vandegriftsearch.com, and his story has been told by the American Cancer Society.

He also spends time occasionally helping others work through healing strategies.

When he was first diagnosed, Vandegrift said the disease faded from his mind in a pain-killer haze.

When he came out of the haze, he didn’t accept his fate, even though doctors were offering no hope for recovery. “The mental part of this was very difficult and, I believe, it was contributed to by doctors who are matter of fact and told me a patient cannot survive a far-reaching metastasis to the liver,” he wrote.

He began to put together a team of doctors he could work with. It was a part of his general philosophy of life. “I’ve always believed you can do it, if you surround yourself with the best.”

Vandegrift hasn’t incorporated any miracle diet, exercise or supplements into his regime. He does believe in surgery and pharmaceuticals, but the biggest difference in Vandegrift’s health probably comes from strategies he’s developed for himself.

“Some of whether I survive or not is up to me. It was up to me to devise a plan to live,” he said.

Those strategies are different for everyone, but Vandegrift maintains it’s important that everyone develop some. One thing he encourages every cancer patient do is “write the way you’re going to win your battle. Then rewrite it as you move through the process. Listen to your inner voice and make changes,” he said.

Maintaining a positive attitude is a big part of the process, “but a positive attitude is not sufficient in itself. It must be tied to action,” Vandegrift said.

Action for Vandegrift includes visualizing his cancer. He actually got photos of his CT-scans, put them on his computer and then erased the lesions from his liver several times daily, “until I could see them in my mind’s eye. I had to know what my liver looked like. I needed to know how the lesions appeared and how they changed every time they took another picture.”

Vandegrift also advises cancer patients to find a medical team they can regard as heroes. It’s also important, Vandegrift said, that each physician know that they are your hero. He said it’s not enough to have good doctors, “I have to believe doctor’s are divinely inspired.”

The other side of the coin, is that each patient must take charge of making some decisions for themselves, and not blindly accept every decision made by the medical community. If Vandegrift had done that, he wouldn’t be alive today.

Vandegrift believes in the power of prayer and had people praying for him. But when it came to his own prayers, “I made a decision not to pray for myself, except in those early days,” he said. “I prayed for others because I knew others were praying for me,” he said.

He also set goals. “I figured I need a Cadillac dream, not a Mazda dream, so I bought a beautiful 1993 Cadillac STS,” he said.

He reaches out to people with cancer, even those he doesn’t know.

Even though he’s a senior citizen, Vandegrift said he’s not ready to die. “Death is my enemy,” he said. “Grace will set in soon enough.

He doesn’t see himself as a miracle. “I attribute my success to a long list.”

Huntsman Cancer Center

My Home is in the House of Cancer

 Author(s): Vandegrift, Robert L.

"'My Home is in the House of Cancer' is an interesting and uplifting account of how one individual has battled metastatic colon cancer. Mr. Vandegrift shares what he did to survive well beyond the prognosis he was first given. He offers honest insights into how he found the strength to not give up hope and shares how he has advocated for himself, and he encourages others to use 'the magic word - ask.'" (Book Cover)

Publisher: Robert Vandegrift

Information Last Reviewed: 05/12/2003

Roche Laboratories

Copied

 “5/22/03

 Dear Robert,

  On behalf of the Roche Oncology Team, I want to thank you for sharing your story with other Roche employees around the world.

  I’m pleased to enclose a copy of the article that appeared in the Roche Newsletter “Hexagon”.

 Best Regards

 Shelley Rosenstock”

The Roche Group’s worldwide newspaper

HEXAGON

Number 1 – 2003  Roche Holding Ltd, CH-4070 Basel

 Don’t call him a miracle

      Don’t tell Bob Vandegrift that he’s a miracle.  He won’t accept that.  But if you hear him talk about his cancer, now over six years after he was told he had a few months to live, you’ll believe that something powerful is at work here.

      After surgery in December 1996, sixty-eight year-old Bob Vandegrift was told he had colon cancer and that it had spread to his liver.  Following a colonostomy, his doctor told his family he had four months to live.  A second opinion was the same.  Deciding to fight for his life, Bob Vandegrift sought the help of yet another physician who also referred him to an oncologist who suggested that he take part in a clinical study for Xeloda.

      In April 1997, Bob Vandegrift began a Xeloda clinical trial, remaining on the protocol for five years – until April 2002.  “I was doing well.  The Xeloda was certainly more convenient than 5FU, with fewer side effects”, adds Vandegrift.  He credits his survival to surgery, pharmaceuticals and the development of personal strategies for dealing with the disease.  “It’s important that we listen to our inner voice”, Vandegrift explains.  “I believe the mind-body connection could very well be the deciding factor (in whether or not we beat the disease)”.

      Today, Bob Vandegrift speaks in churches, assisted living centers and a cancer center, talking to people with cancer about developing individual strategies to overcome the disease.  “The last six years have been the most important time of my life”, Vandegrift says, “and I want to make a difference whenever possible.”

Standard-Examiner

Battling back from cancer

Bountiful man gives credit to positive attitude, new drug

 By JAMIE LAMPROS
Standard-Examiner correspondent

BOUNTIFUL -- Six years ago Robert Vandegrift had a pain in his stomach he said is impossible to describe.

"It was tremendous pain. I’m not even sure how to describe it," the 74-year-old said. "I went to the hospital and they sent me home saying they couldn’t find anything wrong with me."

Still in pain, Vandegrift returned to the hospital. After an exploratory surgery, doctors cut out a baseball size tumor. Vandegrift was told he had advanced colon cancer that had spread to both lobes of his liver. His doctor gave him six months to live.

"They told my family I had closer to four months and (told) my oldest son I had three weeks," he said.

That was in 1996. Today, Vandegrift’s cancer is in remission and he is living life to its fullest. He said he is alive today for three reasons: surgery, a medication he was given during a clinical trial and his own strategy.

"I wasn’t ready to die and I fired my doctor because he gave me no hope at all," he said. "You are so vulnerable when they tell you that you are going to die. It’s scary. They ask you if you’re scared to die. What a dumb question."

Colon cancer is the third most common type of cancer and the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in the United States , according to the American Cancer Society. Symptoms can include a change in bowel habits, diarrhea or constipation, a feeling of fullness or bloating, rectal bleeding, blood in the stool and fatigue.

The disease is highly curable if detected early, but by the time a person has symptoms, it’s usually too late. Instead of following his doctor’s advice to have intravenous chemotherapy treatments, Vandegrift researched his options.

"One of the big problems out there is that a lot of doctors want to just throw you on chemotherapy immediately. I don’t think anyone should rush into it," he said.

In April, Vandegrift decided to enter into a clinical trial at the Huntsman Center . The medication that would be tested was called Xeloda, an oral, tumor-activated anticancer drug that has since been approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

Xeloda ultimately interferes with RNA synthesis, Dr. Saundra Buys, oncology doctor at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City , said. "Xeloda is one more drug that can help some people with metastatic breast and colon cancer and has the advantage of being a pill instead of an IV injection."

Knowing that he had a 50-50 chance of getting the experimental drug, Vandegrift invented his own cancer cure.

He had pictures taken of his tumors scanned into his computer.

"I erased the tumors myself," he said. "It was more of a mind thing, but when you have cancer you have to develop something that will get you up when you’re down."

Six weeks into the clinical trial, a new scan of Vandegrift’s liver showed that the tumors were much smaller. Because of his successful progression he was allowed to continue taking the medication.

"I was never sick and didn’t lose my hair and started to gain weight again," Vandegrift said. "I knew a lot of people out there were praying for me so instead of praying for myself I prayed for them."

Buys said it’s very useful for patients to learn what they can about their type of cancer and its treatments. She said there is a plethora of education at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, American Cancer Society and the National Cancer Institute Web sites. She also said it’s always a good thing to put trust in a doctor.

"Some say I am a miracle but the miracle is in science and education," Vandegrift said. "In the meantime, I am living life to the fullest. I went out and bought myself a Cadillac and took out a loan for some home improvements. . . . I’m very active and am very involved in speaking out to cancer patients.

MY HOME IS IN THE HOUSE OF CANCER

IT IS WHERE I LIVE

I moved into this house in December, 1996.  I had lived here for sometime but wasn’t aware it was a cancer house.  I had colon cancer.  I knew something was the matter with me but didn’t know what it was.

The house was to be temporary because the tumors had metastasized to both lobes of the liver and they said I would die – they said they could keep me alive for a short while with chemotherapy but I was still going to die.

Now, they say the cancer is gone and that “There are always going to be some patients that respond exceptionally well for reasons that we don’t understand”.

The house has changed me.  I used surgery, pharmaceuticals and personal strategies.

I also shared ideas with others.

Though the house is small (only 108 pages on 6” x 9” sheets) there are a number of rooms:

 Contents

 Preface -- Each Day, I Say -- The Magic Word -- Introduction -- The Two P’s, Plus -- First Hope -- The Second Member

 The Oncologist -- Where Have All Our Friends Gone -- Diet – Denial -- Stroking a Dream -- The Race

 The Margie Levine Story -- The Future -- Document Your History -- Postscript

I don’t have very many books remaining and so I copied it to a  Compact Disc.  I also printed on the same CD the script of a talk that I gave at a cancer conference.

In addition, I have recorded an audio compact disc and is also available.  It is based on the ideas put forth in the book.

I have not set a price on the books or CD’s but I would appreciate a contribution to cover some of my expenses.

Please contact:

Robert L. Vandegrift, 797 south 350 west, Bountiful , utah 84010

Telephone:  801-295-8172; Email:  search@xmission.com

     During the days of the Civil War, Bandera County was the scene of several tragedies, the most prominent of which was the execution of eight men one night in the summer of 1863, on Julian Creek, four miles east of this town. There are no living witnesses to this tragedy -- at least, if they are living they have kept silent for many, many years. But living in Bandera County today are two or three men who remember the circumstances, and who assisted in giving the victims decent burial, and it is from these men that I get the information from which to weave the story of a crime for which the perpetrators were never brought to the bar of justice.      When Texas seceded from the Union, old Camp Verde, 12 miles north of Bandera, was occupied by the Confederate forces. First a frontier battalion was organized for protection against the Indians, and this was directed from Camp Verde. Later, Confederate soldiers were stationed at this well known post, where Gen. Lee, Gen. Albert Sidney Johnston and other notables had at previous times been in command. While Lawhon's company was stationed at Camp Verde in 1863, it became known that a small party of supposed "bushwhackers" were passing through the country en route to Mexico to avoid conscription. There were eight men and one boy in the party, and it became known that they were from Florence, Williamson County. Why they were termed "bush-whackers" has never been explained, but it is presumed that they had taken part in certain bushwhacking operations and had been forced to leave that section. But be that as it may, the word was carried to Camp Verde and a troop of 25 men under command of Maj. W. J. Alexander immediately started in pursuit. In the pursuing party were a number of men who were well known to the early settlers of Bandera County, but after the close of the war they all disappeared, some making haste to get out of the country.      The small band of nine men passed through Bandera several days before the soldiers took up their pursuit. They were well mounted, well armed and well provisioned and made no secret of their destination, saying that they were leaving the country because they did not care to become involved in the strife between the States, and when it was over they expected to return and take up their residence in Williamson County again, where some of them had families and homes. They seemed quiet and peaceable and paid for everything they secured in Bandera, and went on their way.      Several days afterward Maj. Alexander and his men came through Bandera, on trail of the men, and went from here to Hondo. Picking up the trail there, they followed it to Squirrel Creek, some 10 miles beyond Hondo, where they discovered the men they were seeking in camp. They had finished their noonday meal, and were quietly resting, some lounging around and talking, others attending to the stock, not suspecting that they were being pursued and at that very moment in danger of being captured. Approaching under cover within a very short distance of where the men were camped, Maj. Alexander stepped out into an opening and, swinging his saber over his head, called upon them to surrender, telling them he had them surrounded and there was no chance for escape, and if they would quietly submit he would pledge his word that they should have a fair trial by court-martial at Camp Verde.      The little party of nine promptly yielded up their arms, and were then forced to saddle their horses and immediately start back toward Camp Verde. All went evenly enough until the second night on the return trip, when, while in camp on the Julian some of Alexander's men wanted to hang the prisoners.      Some of the party refused to have any thing to do with the execution, but some were determined to put the prisoners out of the way, and accordingly marched them out some distance from camp and hung them one by one. A hair rope was used in hanging these men, and each one died by strangulation, being drawn up until choked to death. When life was extinct the victim was let down, and the rope cut, leaving the noose still about his neck. Bill Sawyer, one of the victims begged to be shot, saying he preferred that manner of death to being hung. His wish was granted, and some one in the party fired a rifle at him which only produced a flesh wound on his arm. Sawyer fell, but when it was found that he had not been fatally shot, another man placed the muzzle of his gun against the fallen man and shot him through the body with a full charge, leaving the ramrod in the gun, which went through him and into the ground. He was thus found the next day. They boy in the party, a lad about 16 years old, is supposed to have escaped, but he, too, may have been murdered, as he was never heard of again.      After completing their work, the men who had participated in this crime (those who refused to have a hand in it having passed on) came to Bandera the next morning and proceeded on to Camp Verde without delay, some of the party hinting to citizens that they had rid the country of some more bushwhackers. Alexander's men had their victims' horses, saddles, bedding, clothing and shoes.      Joseph H. Poor, who lived on the West Verde, was camped near the place of execution, and the next morning he went out to look for his horses and came upon the bodies just as Alexander's men left them. He hastened to Bandera and notified the authorities and Justice of the Peace O. B. Miles, Robert Ballentyne, George Hay, Amasa Clark, John Pyka and a number of others went down there to investigate. They found seven of the men had been hanged until dead, and the eighth had been shot through with a ramrod, as stated. George Hay says he pulled the ramrod out of the body. An inquest was held, and the verdict rendered as follows: "We the jury, find that these men (giving their names) were killed by Maj. W. J. Alexander's company." A grave was opened and the bodies of the eight unfortunate men were rolled into it and covered up. Many years later a tombstone was erected over the grave, and on this tombstone appears the names of the men who were murdered while prisoners, who had been given a sacred pledge that they would be given just treatment if they surrendered.      How do we know these things? There were men in Maj. Alexander's party who refused to countenance the execution of helpless prisoners, and months afterward they talked freely of the occurrence, telling all particulars, and even giving the names of the men who participated. This tragedy occurred in 1863, but retribution usually follows such crimes, and after the war ended and while E. J. Davis was Governor of Texas, district judges all over the State were instructed to charge their respective grand juries to investigate such matters. G. H. Noonan, a good man and true, was judge of this district at that time, and he directed the grand jury of this county to thoroughly investigate the hanging of these men, with the result that as soon as it became known that the strong arm of the law was reaching out, there was a hasty departure by some for a more congenial climate. This was in 1866.      The grand jury indicted W. J. Alexander et al for murder and highway robbery, and for want of service the case was continued on the docket from term to term, so the records show. Maj. Alexander had disappeared. Not one of the men charged in the indictment was ever arrested. One of them, it is said, was killed at New Braunfels by offers while resisting arrest. More than half a century has passed since that stain was placed on Bandera County's history, and all who took part in it are supposed to be dead. But it is said that the men who urged the execution of those prisoners and carried it out were not citizens of the county. The court records may reveal their names, if search is made for they were indicted by the grand jury in 1866. The names of their victims are: C. J. Sawyer, W. M. Sawyer, George Thayer, William Shumake, Jack Whitmire, Jake Kyle, John Smart and a Mr. Vanwinkle.      George Hay, who is now in his 88th year, and still quite active, in discussing this crime, said:      "I have seen many foul crimes in my time, but this was the most revolting that I ever knew. A party of us went out from Bandera as soon as we learned of the occurrence and found the bodies of those unfortunate men lying just as they had been cut down, pieces of the horsehair rope around each man's neck. They had all been strangled to death by the rope being placed over a limb and drawn up, possibly by somebody on horseback. One man, Bill Sawyer, was laying face down, shot through with a wooden ramrod, which had passed entirely through his body and penetrated into the ground for at least 10 or 12 inches. It was with great difficulty that I drew out this ramrod. Alexander's party passed through Bandera about 8 o'clock one Sunday morning, and in just a little while Joseph Poor came with the news that he had found some murdered men down on the Julian. We buried them as best we could, and in giving our verdict at the inquest we definitely placed the blame on Alexander's men, some of whom I knew, but they are all dead now."      Amasa Clark one of the first settlers here, and who is now in his 96th year, active and full of life, clearly remembers the time when this tragedy was enacted, and when questioned about it a few days ago was very emphatic in his denunciation of the perpetrators. His statement follows:      "Oh, yes, I remember the hanging of the Sawyers and those other men. It was an outrage. They were murdered -- yes murdered in cold blood. Deliberately murdered without being given a chance for their lives. I knew all of the circumstances, and when Mr. Poor brought word to Bandera that he had found their bodies Mr. Daniel Rugh asked me to go with him down there. When we arrived there a grewsome sight met our gaze. Some had been partly stripped. I heard afterward that some of the men who took part in the hanging had worn the clothes of their victims while passing through Bandera. There was a report that some of them gambled for the clothing the night of the murder, but I cannot vouch for this statement. This crime created a great deal of indignation here, but the citizens were powerless to do anything. The murdered men were strangers, peaceably passing through the country. They had committed no crime that I know of and should not have been molested. After the war diligent efforts were made to apprehend the guilty ones and bring them to justice, but without success. I knew several of them, but as soon as they were mustered out of the Confederate service, and before the civil courts were in good running order, they left the country. An attempt was made by New Braunfels officers to arrest one of these men on warrant from Bandera County, but he resisted arrest and was killed. Now, I do not charge this crime to Confederate soldiers. I do not believe a true Confederate would be guilty of such a heinous offense as deliberately putting to death an enemy without giving him every chance the law gives a man. I have lived in the South ever since I returned from my service in the Mexican War, in 1848, and I loved the South and the cause she fought for. I know the rules of warfare and how prisoners should be treated. Sawyer and his men were not treated as prisoners of war. They were hung without a trial, and it seems to me that robbery was the sole motive that prompted their execution. This all happened years ago, but it made such a lasting impression that I will never forget it, and have many times wished to see the guilty ones brought before the courts and made to pay the penalty for their crime."      John Pyka, another highly respected citizen of Bandera, gave his version of this sad affair as follows:      "At that time I was just a lad, large enough, however, to think I was about grown, and I distinctly remember when Mr. Joseph Poor came and notified us that he had seen the body of a man on the Julian with arrows sticking in him and he thought Indians were in the country. Mr. Poor lived on the West Verde, but was camped near the scene of the crime, and was out looking for his horses that had strayed off from camp when he came upon the bodies. He did not take time to investigate, but came right on to Bandera and notified the authorities. I went out with the crowd to the place, and we found seven of the men had been hung and one had been shot through with a ramrod. It was an awful spectacle. No, I do not think these men had been stripped of their clothing, because I remember seeing that the cattle had chewed the sleeve of the coat on one of the dead men, and if I remember rightly they were all in full attire. Their pockets were empty, showing that they had been robbed. A 16-year old boy that was captured with the men was spared for the time being, I understand, and was taken up about Fredericksburg, but as he was never heard of again, it is supposed that he, too was killed. I knew some of the men who had a hand in the hanging, but they left the country when investigation started. I think all of the participants are dead now, for it has been a long time ago since all this happened.      "We dug a shallow grave, laid the dead men into it, spread blankets over them, and covered them up the best we could with dirt and stones to keep the wolves from getting to the bodies. I do not know of any person now living who was present at the time except myself, George Hay and Amasa Clark. There may be others, but I do not remember."      The spreading oak to which these men were hung is still standing, a grim sentinel on a hillside, gnarled and knotted with age, a silent witness on the scene. Nearby, in a beautiful glade, is the shallow grave which contains the bones of the strangers who were the victims of a hellish plot. Over the grave stands a tombstone, placed there by citizens of the country who were familiar with the details of the murders. On this tombstone is inscribed the following: "C. J. Sawyer, W. M. Sawyer, George Thayre, William Shumake, Jack Whitmire, Jake Kyle, John Smart, Mr. Van Winkle, Died July 25, 1863. Remember, friends, as you pass by; as you are now, so once was I, As I am now, you soon will be; prepare for death and follow me." Mutely this monument stands as the years roll by, in an out-of-the-way place, on land belonging to Frank Pyke. In its seclusion the grave is never disturbed, while in the springtime wild flowers grow and bloom over the mound, song birds make melody in the nearby trees and the soft breezes that blow through the branches chant a requiem to the departed souls.